衣櫃裡的賊—Burglar in the Closet (1978)
故事起源：
Bernie某天去看牙的時候，牙醫照例一邊補牙一邊碎碎唸，沒想到唸著唸著，居然把
Bernie是雅賊的事情給抖出來—原來是想要Bernie去幫他把送給前妻的那些珠寶給偷回來
……
事情發展：
正如同所有偵探劇一般，死神上身的Bernie這次不只是人死的時候在場，甚至還聽到了事發
經過。想當然耳，就算了無痕跡地逃離現場，肯定還是會被視為嫌犯，因此只好再度扮演偵
探，還自己清白。甚至他連東西都沒到手，就被歹徒順手摸走，還真是賠了夫人又折兵。
既然兇手不是他或是前夫的話，就只好去找其他利害關係人：死者的三名男友。最後原來是
牽涉到假鈔……
當然最後Bernie也是順利取得兇手自白，可是每次都搞栽贓這套好像有點賤耶 ><
心得：
結尾Bernie在分析涉案人員時，曾經說過「Crystal三個男友裡面有兩個涉案就已經很了不
起了，倒不必認為三個統統涉案」結果還真的就是三個都有問題，印證了一丘之貉這句成語
。平常看新聞也有同樣的感想；有些人會扯上命案，真的都是自己也有問題。你不去認識那
些不三不四的人，跟他們沒有金錢或情感上的糾葛，人家會來找你麻煩？安分守己的人，只
會倒楣遇到搶匪、意外等等，不會遭遇什麼兇殺情殺的。
有趣的橋段：
Bernie到了Crystal她家，側耳偷聽屋裡動靜—
I put my ear to the door and listened for a moment, and then I retrieved my ear
and went to work. XDDDDD 好個把耳朵收回來，這種說法莫名地有喜感
Bernie跟一幅畫的對話—
I was between women myself at the time and told her with my eyes that I could
make her life a joy and a fulfillment, but her chalky blues met mine and she let
me know that she was sure I’d be just as big a letdown as everybody else. I fi-
gured she was probably right.
between women 是哪招啦 XDDDDD 這樣要怎麼講，待女友中嗎 XDDDD
Bernie去看牙—
She'd shown me for what seemed like the thousandth time the proper way to brush
my teeth (and every damned dental hygienist shows you a different way, and each
swears it’s the only way.) XDDDDDDDDDDD
第五章開頭，先是Jillian對Bernie說「你好棒喔～」，但是Bernie接著敘述了一堆其他的
事情，講了太多，要再切回來時，變成—
“You’re fantastic, Bernie.”
Actually, she didn’t say it again. I’m repeating it so as to preserve the
thread of this narrative.
XDDDDDDD 為了要連貫，還自己補充一次，笑死我 XDDDDD
Bernie踩到狗屎—
……ultimately stepped smack into a souvenir left on the pavement by the galum-
phing Great Dane or another of his ilk. I said a four-letter word, a precise de
-scription indeed of that in which I had stepped.
講到Bernie要去找那個叫做Grabow的畫家，打電話卻一直撲空—
I called the Koltnow Gallery and nobody answered.
I called Jillian's apartment and nobody answered.
I called Craig's office and nobody answered.
I called 411…… 要是打查號台還 nobody answered 就好笑了 XDDDDDDD
然後—
I dialed my own number and established that I wasn’t home either. The whole
world was out to lunch. XDDDDD 卜老就是喜歡讓筆下的人物做一些很多餘的事才那麼好
笑啦～
Bernie打去畫廊問Gradow的住址，對方說在國王街—
“Well, King Street is in SoHo, but just barely. It’s one block So of Ho.”
She laughed mechanically, as if she used this little play on words frequently
and was getting sick of it. “South of Houston, that is.”老實說，還真有點冷啊
Bernie去找Gradow被識破開溜—
and then I straightened up and ran like a sonofabitch.
狗娘養的跑起來是怎樣啊 XDDDDDDDDD
後來Bernie逃進一間酒吧休息，聽到隔壁的客人在聊棒球—
Bobby Thompson’s home run won the 1951 pennant for the Giants. They were the
New York Giants then <