進度4/5
這本書帶給我的感受只能用複雜形容
表面淡漠但有時又鋒利得可怕
甚至未必關於個人連結
就像俗語所謂罵人不帶髒字
這是殺人不見血
談到有個男人提到
自己的母親曾莫名把家裡原本養了很多年的狗丟在車站
他追蹤到收容所要把狗狗接回來
收容所卻說狗狗已經因為絕食而死
如果這還不夠殘忍
男人說他至今仍然無法明白為什麼自己的母親會這麼做
作者寫
"我沒對他說　
顯然因為她想傷害某個人"
最後這句太過真實
我一時半刻無法繼續讀下去
雖然類似的事從未發生在自己身上
但回想起那些生命裡艱難的時光
我毫不懷疑
人的惡意可以讓人沒有任何遲疑
甚至享受/或只會懊惱怎麼自己不曾想到而已。
一邊精彩得讓人難以忘懷又同時讓人感到恐懼
連自己已經屬於少數能欣賞這種特質的族群
都還這麼不容易
brillant indeed, but do you like it?
It's just so hard (I may say impossible)
to pin down how you really feel about it
It's either you don't see it
(so there is nothing to appreciate)
or it scares you.
想起s曾經對我的形容
或許大概 也有些許類似吧
"sometimes you're lethal
and that's with me
imaging how it'd be for those you don't care about"
卻也不只一次說過
how amazed and impressed he was by the same quality.
I don't really know if that's something/who I want to be
but it doesn't matter anyway
because you're what you are.
You can change/improve in some slight ways
but the structure / those what makes you who you are
it not going to be different.