People said you do not care about what other people think. In fact, I never can really ignore what other people think about me. Caring about what other people think is very toxic. Comparing yourself with others is also very toxic. I am doing these every single day. To be honest, I do not think anyone can be so untouchable. Anyone and everyone can feel hurt and humiliated when they are insulted or compared.
I want to tell Joy how worried I am when I read Sylvie's post about competition. I do not think I have any competition. The only stregnth I have is youth but I am losing it. My classmate is getting stronger but I am getting weaker. I am being eaten by my fears and worries every day. I know my fears are holding me back but they are so real. I know I have to be positive and strong but I just do not know how to do it. I feel hurt and humiliated. I want to hide and never wake up again.
Yes. I will call a counselor tonight to talk about it.