Song of Childhood ◎Peter Handke
童年之歌 ◎彼得.漢德克
When the child was a child
當孩子還是個孩子時
It walked with its arms swinging,
他擺動雙臂行走
wanted the brook to be a river,
希望小溪可以成為河川
the river to be a torrent,
河川可以成為湧流
and this puddle to be the sea.
這癱水漥可以成為大海
When the child was a child,
當孩子還是個孩子時
it didn’t know that it was a child,
他不知道自己只是個孩子
everything was soulful,
萬物有靈
and all souls were one.
而所有靈魂終歸一體
When the child was a child,
當孩子還是個孩子時
it had no opinion about anything,
他對事物毫無成見
had no habits,
他不會非要如何不可
it often sat cross-legged,
他時而盤腿坐著
took off running,
又匆匆跑開
had a cowlick in its hair,
他的額前貼著一綹蓬亂的捲髮
and made no faces when photographed.
他照相時不懂得裝模作樣
When the child was a child,
當孩子還是個孩子時
It was the time for these questions:
他開始有了這些疑問
Why am I me, and why not you?
為什麼我是我，而不是你
Why am I here, and why not there?
為什麼我在這裡，而不在那裡
When did time begin, and where does space end?
時間是從什麼時候開始的，宇宙的盡頭又在何處
Is life under the sun not just a dream?
陽光底下的生命不是只是一場幻夢嗎
Is what I see and hear and smell
我所看見的、聽見的、聞到的
not just an illusion of a world before the world?
不是只是在世界面前的一場幻覺嗎
Given the facts of evil and people.
鑒於人類與惡之間共存的歷史
does evil really exist?
惡是真的存在嗎
How can it be that I, who I am,
怎麼可能我──現在的我
didn't exist before I came to be,
在我成為我之前並不存在
and that, someday, I, who I am,
而總有一天，我已成為我時──未來的我
will no longer be who I am?
也不再是現在的我了嗎
When the child was a child,
當孩子還是個孩子時
It choked on spinach, on peas, on rice pudding,
他的嘴裡塞滿著菠菜、豌豆與米布丁
and on steamed cauliflower,
還有難以下咽的花椰菜
and eats all of those now, and not just because it has to.
現在他也吃這些食物，卻不再是因為必須
When the child was a child,
當孩子還是個孩子時
it awoke once in a strange bed,
有一次，他醒來，發現自己躺在一張陌生的床上
and now does so again and again.
如今這陌生，一次又一次地反覆著
Many people, then, seemed beautiful,
許多人曾經看上去很美
and now only a few do, by sheer luck.
如今只有少數人依然美麗，而那只是僥倖
It had visualized a clear image of Paradise,
他曾憑藉著想像就能清楚地看見天堂的模樣
and now can at most guess,
如今卻只能勉力猜想
could not conceive of nothingness,
曾經不能夠理解虛無
and shudders today at the thought.
如今一想就令他不寒而慄
When the child was a child,
當孩子還是個孩子時
It played with enthusiasm,
他的玩耍全憑藉著一股熱情
and, now, has just as much excitement as then,
現在雖然也一樣
but only when it concerns its work.
但是只有在工作時才是如此
When the child was a child,
當孩子還是個孩子時
It was enough for it to eat an apple, … bread,
吃一顆蘋果、麵包對他而言就已足夠
And so it is even now.
即使是現在也一樣
When the child was a child,
當孩子還是個孩子時
Berries filled its hand as only berries do,
他因手中盛滿著莓子而感到滿足
and do even now,
現在也一樣
Fresh walnuts made its tongue raw,
新鮮的核桃嚐起來生澀
and do even now,
現在也一樣
it had, on every mountaintop,
每一次站在山頂
the longing for a higher mountain yet,
總是渴望著還能攀登更高的山
and in every city,
每一次到了一座城市
the longing for an even greater city,
總是渴望著還能去一座更好的城市
and that is still so,
現在也一樣
It reached for cherries in topmost branches of trees
他從最高的樹枝上摘下櫻桃
with an elation it still has today,
而為此感到歡欣雀躍，現在也一樣
has a shyness in front of strangers,
他在陌生人面前會感到害羞
and has that even now.
現在也一樣
It awaited the first snow,
他期待每年的第一場雪
And waits that way even now.
現在也一樣
When the child was a child,
當孩子還是個孩子時
It threw a stick like a lance against a tree,
他朝向大樹扔擲棍棒，宛如勇士朝向敵人扔擲長矛
And it quivers there still today.
直到今天，長矛依然插在那，顫動不已