[ 雷] 外媒對 Cats 《貓》的影評整理

作者: neak (neak)   2019-12-24 05:32:59
《貓》的外國影評我看到笑到飆淚,一定要跟大家分享一下,這些是外國主流媒體
(甚麼紐約時報洛杉磯時報) 一句影評,如果是正面的通常會放在DVD 上面或廣告的。
這影評可以跟《天機 富春山居圖》比了 XDDDDDDDDDDD
https://redd.it/eckx4x
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 19% - 115 Reviews - 3.75 Average Score
Rotten Tomatoes Critics Consensus:
Despite its fur-midable cast, this Cats adaptation is a clawful mistake that
will leave most viewers begging to be put out of their mew-sery.
Metacritic Score: 33/100
負雷
☆ Boston Globe
My eyes are burning. Oh God, my eyes.
我眼睛好痛! 喔天啊! 我的眼!!!!
☆ Collider
Can you make a movie so bad that the Academy takes back your Best Director
Oscar? Asking for Tom Hooper.
可不可能說你拍了部電影爛到你的奧斯卡最佳導演小金人被回收?幫 Tom Hooper 問問
☆ The Beat
Cats is the worst thing to happen to cats since dogs.
《貓》是自有狗存在後對貓最大的傷害。
☆ Hollywood Reporter
Cat-astrophic.
貓難
☆ LA Times
"Cats” is both a horror and an endurance test.
《貓》不僅僅是挑戰了恐懼也是耐力測試
☆ Slashfilm
There is a thin line between idiocy and genius, and Cats pukes a hairball on i
t
and rubs its ass all over it.
愚笨跟天才只有一線之隔,而《貓》嘴裡吐出了一團毛線球然後用自己屁屁蹂躪了一番
☆ Variety
Nine may not be enough lives for some of the stars to live down their
involvement in this poorly conceived and executed adaptation of Andrew Lloyd
Webber’s hit musical.
九條命都不夠參與《貓》的大明星消除跟這部回響爛執行也爛的 Andrew Lloyd Webber

夯音樂劇的改編的連結。
☆ Little White Lies
I felt the light inside me slowly fading.
我覺得我身體裡的光正在慢慢的熄滅
☆ The Playlist
Once Tom Hooper's 110 minutes of Cats are over, theater is dead. And we
unchosen ones are left, tragically, to continue living.
當110 分鐘的 Tom Hooper 《貓》播完了,戲院一片死寂,而只剩我們這些被天棄的,悲

的還活著。
☆ New York Times
It's amazing to see what Adult Swim can accomplish with a $100 million budget.
I never knew Tom Hooper was capable of making a surrealist nightmare that woul
d
rival Jodorowsky, that could baffle David Lynch, that would prompt even the
dark god Cthulhu to emit an impressed eldritch shriek of “nehehehehehe”
瞧瞧 Adult Swim 一億鎂預算做出的令人驚喜的產品。我從來就不知道 Tom Hooper 能拍

這樣子媲美邪典教父Jodorowsky,震驚超現實主義 David Lynch 的超現實主義噩夢,甚

黑暗之神克蘇魯都會發出可懼的笑聲的"嘿嘿嘿"
☆ Vulture
To assess Cats as good or bad feels like the entirely wrong axis on which to
see it. It is, with all affection, a monstrosity.
要給《貓》好雷或負雷感覺上評論點就錯了,怪物無法評價。
☆ The Daily Telegraph
Glad to report that Cats is everything you’d hoped for and more: a
mesmerisingly ugly fiasco that makes you feel like your brain is being eaten b
y
a parasite. A viewing experience so stressful that it honestly brought on a
migraine.
十分開心的跟大家回報說《貓》比大家所希望的還更絕,是一個難以忘懷醜陋的慘敗,看

會讓你覺得你的腦被寄生蟲吃了,觀影令人壓力大到偏頭痛。
☆ Den of Geek
One of the weirdest and most garish monstrosities to be birthed out of the
Hollywood studio system in this century.
本世紀好萊塢製片廠誕生的最怪異、最華麗的怪物之一。
☆ Vanity Fair
It’s an ugly stray who smells bad and should not be invited into your home,
certainly. And yet it is its own kind of living creature, worthy of at least
some basic compassion.
這是一個醜陋的流浪《貓》,聞起來很臭,當然不應該被邀請到你家來。然而,它是獨樹

格的生物,至少值得一些基本的同情。
☆ The Guardian
A purr-fectly dreadful hairball of woe. 1/5.
一個令人喵骨悚然的可怕毛球的悲哀
☆ Indiewire
Tom Hooper’s feline musical is an absurd and exuberant mess. This visually
dense adaptation of the Andrew Lloyd Webber hit is at once too crazy for this
world, and not quite crazy enough.
Tom Hooper 的《貓》音樂劇是一個荒謬和旺盛的混亂。連曾經瘋狂到世間難容的Andrew
Lloyd Webber 原著相較下都還不夠瘋狂。
☆ Newsday
Fans of the stage musical may swoon, but others will be severely allergic.
音樂劇粉絲或許會暈眩,然而其他人只會嚴重過敏。
☆ The Wrap
Andrew Lloyd Webber’s feline fantasy musical becomes a garish hairball. It’s
hard to “ruin” Webber’s already strange musical, but Tom Hooper’s
wrongheaded attempt certainly tries. Tom Hooper’s jarring fever dream of a
spectacle is like something that escaped from Dr. Moreau’s creature laborator
y
instead of a poet’s and a composer’s feline (uni)verse, an un-catty valley
hybrid of physical and digital that unsettles and crashes way more often than
it enchants.
Andrew Lloyd Webber的貓咪幻想音樂劇已然成為了一個華麗的毛球。很難毀掉 Webber

然奇異的音樂劇,但湯Tom Hooper做到了。Tom Hooper 腦燒瘋癲之夢就像從莫羅博士的

物實驗室中逃脫的東西,而不是詩人和作曲家的貓科動物,一種物理和數位混合的未貓谷

合體,破壞搗亂超越了魅惑。
☆ Bleeding Cool
Cats is a strange beast to begin with, but the combination of strange CGI make
s
the translation from stage to screen even worse.
《貓》原本就已經是個邪教了,加上了古怪的 CGI後就更糟了。
☆ Slant
This adaptation gets straight to the heart of the material, which is basically
two hours of stray cats introducing themselves.
《貓》神還原原著,就是兩個小時的流浪貓自我介紹。
☆ Rendy Reviews
On a scale of one to Zemeckis, Hooper's Cats boldly goes beyond the uncanny
valley and creates a tier of its own.
如果量度從一到 Zemeckis (視覺效果大師),Hopper 的《貓》已經超越而自創獨自

等級
☆ Screen Junkies
A spectacular disaster...This movie feels like a prank but I don't know on who
m.
一個華麗的災難 ….感覺像是一場惡作劇,但我不知道整的是誰。
☆ The Jam Report
The most inexplicably bizarre film of the year, it's jawdropping for all the
wrong reasons.
這是今年最令人費解的離奇電影,錯的目瞪口呆。
☆ RTE Ireland
First off, full disclosure - I am not a cat person. Second off - after watchin
g
this frankly mortifying film adaptation of Andrew Lloyd Webber's Cats, I'm not
altogether sure I am a movie person anymore either.
我不是個貓奴,但看過這部改編後,我也不確定我是不是個電影愛好者了。
☆ Kyle Buchanan
Watching CATS is like stumbling upon an unholy and heretofore unknown genre of
porn. Every time these horny fur demons tongue a milk bowl and start moaning I
was certain the FBI would raid the theater
看《貓》就像誤闖了邪魔而未知A片類別,每次這些色色的毛多多的妖開始舔裝有牛奶的

邊呻吟,我很確定下一秒FBI 就會隨時闖入了戲院。
好雷
★ Arizona Republic
I didn't hate it.
我沒有痛恨它
作者: berrylicious (nom nom nom!)   2019-12-24 05:37:00
XDAsking for Tom Hooper 是「幫Tom Hopper 問」
作者: RachelMcAdam (瑞秋賣燈絲)   2019-12-24 07:54:00
Cat-astrophic XDDDDDDDDDDDD
作者: greenlantern (green lantern)   2019-12-24 08:02:00
“my eyes are burning” XDDD
作者: qaz117qaz117 (信~)   2019-12-24 08:18:00
昨天看完特映 真的覺得還是歌舞劇就好...
作者: rexchen40515 (里查在上面)   2019-12-24 08:58:00
笑到流淚啦XDDDD
作者: y35246357468 (小銀)   2019-12-24 09:24:00
這個好雷看起來也沒多好阿XDDDDD
作者: salvador1988 (Mr.Owl)   2019-12-24 09:43:00
居然成為當代克蘇魯神話了
作者: Aequanimitas (Paranoia)   2019-12-24 10:01:00
看預告有違和但沒那麼怪,有種硬要各種創意酸的感覺
作者: milanochuang (Extramilanary)   2019-12-24 11:18:00
Screen Junkie好像也是網路媒體之一,不是「等級:螢幕垃圾」
作者: sunny1991225 (桑妮)   2019-12-24 12:18:00
人面蟑螂在電影中還會往鏡頭直直飛來跟做雪天使的動作,已經超越我對蟑螂鏡頭的理解/忍受範圍了沒有,我覺得蟑螂總動員裡頭的小強都比較可愛......不只吃蟑螂,還有群貓搶食大型CGI廚餘的畫面為什麼一部普遍級電影會有大型的CGI廚餘和蟑螂人,I don't know and can't understandJason Derulo竟然還敢這樣講......他唱的The Rum Tum Tugger比98年的電影版John Partridge唱的不知道弱上多少倍https://youtu.be/Ra3NCVwsjz4這是Derulo版的這是98版的https://youtu.be/ywFbpDjpZnoDerulo那個半吊子的R&B完全hold不住這首歌
作者: coldplay0620 (60KG)   2019-12-24 17:05:00
原本還有點好奇,想看看到底是爛到什麼程度,看到那蟑螂人實在太惡搞了,如果是我看到真的會生氣
作者: sunnydragon7 (香腸)   2019-12-24 20:15:00
好詭異的電影…

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