[分享] 超難寫作題怎麼想點?SK2 Lia以題示範!

作者: dearamelia (Lia Hsu)   2018-02-15 14:26:04
大家新年快樂~我是SK2 TOEFL 的Lia~
今天是除夕,我想大部份板上的朋友,應該也都是選擇新年和家人好好過節
吧!然而,過年歸過年,也別忘了定時溫書,好好充實自己的腦袋喔!為了
幫助大家在過年時節保有唸書的動力,今天我決定和大家一起寫作文,直接
示範一題作文題目給大家看!你可以一邊閱讀這篇範文,一邊思考這篇作文
的審題想點方式。如果你有任何的心得,歡迎分享!
Question: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
It is a waste of money for the government to fund space travel and
space exploration.
People have always argued on whether space exploration is indeed
necessary. Neil Armstrong was the first person to step on the moon
on 1969.That was a big jump for technology development, and from
then on, hundreds of astronauts had tried to investigate in the
Universe to look for new scientific discoveries. However, should
these acts be the priority of the government? Is space exploration
of any importance? In my concerns, it would actually be a waste of
money for the government to put big investments into space travel.
The following are my arguments.
First, with limited budget, the government should deal with issues
more urgent, and space travel is definitely not one of these
issues. On this planet, we have problems of starvation and war in
developing countries and problems of obesity and cancer in
developed countries. In other words, there are lists of challenges
for every single country on the globe, and these problems will
likely influence the health of citizens and the political power of
the country. Compared to these problems, space travel is only an
investment made for an unknown future. The payback for this
investment is not certain and not guaranteed. This is why space
exploration is a waste of money. Compared to funding space
travels, putting funds into rebuilding homes for people, for
example, would probably be a better act of the government. For
people and the government, it is easy to see the good deeds money
can bring. We are able to envision how much money will be spent on
the project; because of this, it would also be easier for the
government to allocate budgets appropriately. In short, because
solving problems that happen on the Earth would be more practical
and also more urgent, funding space travel would actually be a
waste of the government’s money.
Second, the government should put all its citizens into
consideration, yet if it decide to put money in space exploration,
the government would only benefit a few people in the country.
These people, mainly rich people, should not be of the government’s
concern because they live life happily without too much worry.
Imagine if the government put money in helping astronauts to explore
Venus. Few individuals will find this issue interesting. To put it
further, even fewer will actually gain benefits from the exploration
of Venus. Indeed, people might argue that with these discoveries,
the final results of these researches will eventually benefit the
society as a whole. However, since research results have to be tested
over and over again, that will not happen until probably the next
generation. To conclude, if the government put funds into space
exploration, it will only be giving benefit to the researcher and
the rich. This equals to putting the poor and other ordinary ones
in stake, which is why the government should not put importance on
funding space travel.
In conclusion, although quite some people will argue that space
exploration has its values, I will strongly oppose to this
concept. Space exploration does has its benefits, yet these
benefits are limited and unpractical. This is why the government
should not invest in space travel; instead, it should give
attention to problems that do indeed make a difference to our
lives.
讀完這一篇文章,若你有讀過我曾經寫過的其他文章,你應該會覺得有些不
一樣吧!平時我教實力養成班,我們在練習的,其實就是用最簡單的方式和
邏輯,將一篇文章寫好、寫滿。然而,私底下當我自己練習寫作,我也會嘗
試交換使用不同的結構、句型、單字。今天剛好是農曆過年前一天,我想任
性地寫一篇我自己喜歡的文章,透過這篇文章,我也想分享我平時對困難題
目的的想點方法。當然,我也用這篇範文,想和大家說,其實所謂的寫作結
構或模板,都不應該是拿來死背的,如果你真的想將寫作練好,你應該要學
會靈活使用你所學的東西。
這篇文章寫的題目較難:你同不同意政府應投資或用財務支持探索外太空的行為?
我特地選了這個題目,因為很多同學都對諸如此類的題目沒想法。
這樣的沒想法情有可原,因為 1)一般人大抵來說對政府都是不太有什麼想法的
2) 我們不是太空人,通常對外太空的探索這類議題根本沒興趣。
其實,我和大家一樣,也有上面所提的兩個大頭症。
然而,我還是寫出一篇作文來了!你觀察得出來,是因為什麼原因嗎?
其實方法很簡單。最簡單的方法,就是先去思考你認為的政府是一個什麼樣
的角色,或是他應是什麼樣的一個角色。
下筆前,我會先問自己兩個問題:1) 政府在我的心中,往往是好的?還是壞
的?如此,我可決定我在寫作時的整個筆調。
2) 在我的價值觀中/ 或從我的生命經驗來看,有沒有什麼較重大的議題是我
個人比較關心的?從此,我可以判斷我要將我的例子往哪裡帶。
通常,愈有感覺的議題,一個人的論述會愈多、愈豐富,因此,下筆前,你
可以盡可能地思考,哪一個議題是你覺得你比較能夠論述完整的?
這些議題和外太空的探索有無相關性?如果有,相似在哪?如果沒有,不同
點在哪?在上一篇文章中,我就在寫作前想到了這幾個議題:癌症(因為我
朋友的長輩最近得癌症了,心裡掛念著他)、貧窮地區的教育(畢竟我身為
老師)、貧富差距(我很在意大家是否平等)、近日的花蓮地震(有許多人
因為天災是完全沒有家可以住的,連過年都無法過),以及戰爭和可能致死
的疾病(長存大家心中的議題)。
在寫作時,我會將議題拉出來說,然後一個一個對回和「政府」或「外太空
探索」的關聯,實際上,就是一場精彩的辯論了。如果你曾經讀過我的其他
文章,或是上過我的課,你可能會發現,今天這篇文章裡,我並沒有遵從
「嚴格的一段一件事」原則。這是因為,有時候身為作者,真的會在寫作的
過程中發現有許多論述可以講,因此人很容易在段落間又提出新的資訊。從
寬而論,實際上我認為這是沒有關係的,因為只要你會歸類、歸檔資訊,很
多你所提出的「相似但不同的觀點」,也會因為經過寫作者的整合,而讓讀
者特別容易注意到「相似的部分」。上面的範文中,我就是帶了像這樣的小
訣竅,來幫助我的讀者更加理解我的段落重點的。請再讀一次我的各申論段
級其中的元件:
First, with limited budget, the government should deal with issues
more urgent, and space travel is definitely not one of these
issues. On this planet, we have problems of starvation and war in
developing countries and problems of obesity and cancer in
developed countries. In other words, there are lists of challenges
for every single country on the globe, and these problems will
likely influence the health of citizens and the political power of
the country. Compared to these problems, space travel is only an
investment made for an unknown future. The payback for this
investment is not certain and not guaranteed. This is why space
exploration is a waste of money. Compared to funding space
travels, putting funds into rebuilding homes for people, for
example, would probably be a better act of the government. For
people and the government, it is easy to see the good deeds money
can bring. We are able to envision how much money will be spent on
the project; because of this, it would also be easier for the
government to allocate budgets appropriately. In short, because
solving problems that happen on the Earth would be more practical
and also more urgent, funding space travel would actually be a
waste of the government’s money.
第一段:我帶了政府只有有限預算 -
因此更應著重較緊急的社會議題 - 舉一些影響國家人民較為重大的社會議
題(像戰爭、肥胖、癌症、本來想帶低生育率但臨時無法換字變成一個符合
文法又有強調出我堅定態度的句型,乾脆犧牲)- 中間帶入「太空探索是不
可預期的、不一定有投資報酬率的行為」(寫到一半發現自己沒有延伸緊
急,反倒一直在延伸 space exploration 的不可預測性)-趕快帶回大家可
以直接聯想到的緊急社會議題(像是地震後的蓋房子)(但省略地震兩個字
以避免句子太長失焦)- 帶回對人民的利益- 對回對政府的預算考量(也就
是我一開始提到的主題句概念)- 最後,偷放 practical 這個字,以暗示
space exploration 真的不urgent, 不practical 又花錢。
Second, the government should put all its citizens into
consideration, yet if it decide to put money in space exploration,
the government would only benefit a few people in the country.
These people, mainly rich people, should not be of the government
’s concern because they live life happily without too much worry.
Imagine if the government put money in helping astronauts to
explore Venus. Few individuals will find this issue interesting.
To put it further, even fewer will actually gain benefits from the
exploration of Venus. Indeed, people might argue that with these
discoveries, the final results of these researches will eventually
benefit the society as a whole. However, since research results
have to be tested over and over again, that will not happen until
probably the next generation. To conclude, if the government put
funds into space exploration, it will only be giving benefit to
the researcher and the rich. This equals to putting the poor and
other ordinary ones in stake, which is why the government should
not put importance on funding space travel.
第二段:我主要想帶出一個不一樣的段落結構。因此,我用了清楚的例子—
explore Venus 來作為反例。寫出explore Venus 之後,因為第一段在講的
是「此探索不是國家較為緊急的議題」,第二段索性就講「太空探索只能幫
到極少數人」。段落中,提到自己深有感覺的貧富差距(我有稍微包裝過此
概念,讓他變得符合句型以及題目的邏輯),其中,還再提點了一次「太空
科技的好處要很久之後才能實現」,再次呼應我的第一段。最後,整篇文章
結尾時,我再次重申自己對太空探索的想法,總結了第一、二段最重要的概
念,以強化讀者對我立場的了解。
從這篇文章中,你看得出來,我對太空議題實際上也沒有很深入的了解嗎?
也許你看得出來哈哈,但是,寫作中,議題的深入性其實並沒有那麼重要,
比較重要的是主考官要知道,你對政府該做的決策有一定的想法。
其實,這樣的論述能力在考托福寫作時,就已經綽綽有餘了。:)
當然,因為我平時也有在接觸雅思的題目,自己在練習寫作我偶爾會將雅
思的一些寫作方法和想點技巧也帶進來。這也是為什麼,
在閱讀我的文章時,你會發現我確實有在練習「有意識地抽換單詞、句型,
並練習我平時所學的新用語。
舉例來說:
在我的範文裡,你會發現:
the people= the society= individuals= ordinary people
funding= put investments in = put budget in= give financial aids
(似乎最後一個詞這次沒用到)
關於轉換詞彙,我在我的雅思討論區其實也有分享一篇文章,大家有興趣的
話可以去讀讀!(臉書加入LiaShow雅思討論區:https://goo.gl/e9YGTG)
總之,如果你想練習這樣的技能,平時就要多累積你的字庫,並且要常常練
習將你學過的字用出來,你的英文造詣能力才會真的進步。最後,我總結一
下,對於托福中較困難的題目如何審題想點:
1. 先思考出你對這議題大致的看法,即便沒想法,也可以至少想想自己是
贊成還是反對?你覺得這件事是有用,還是沒用呢?
2. 在這事件裡的主角是誰呢?你通常對他有什麼既定印象呢?
3. 這件事情的背後,有哪些被影響的人以及決策者呢?這些人會因為這件
事得到什麼幫助或是因為這件事而損失什麼嗎?
4. 有沒有什麼類似於這個議題的事,他們為什麼類似?在你的論述裡,他
可扮演什麼功能?(比如:與太空探索的類似議題是癌症解藥的研究。為什
麼他們相類似呢?他們都是研究。那他們不同在哪呢?太空探索幫助比較少
人,癌症幫助更多人。因此,我站反對立場)。
5. 提醒大家,論述時,要記得將你的理由、元件等都放在對的結構上,你
的段落及申論才會顯得合理、可採信。
在這一篇文章中,我把我的想法大致整理成以下的大綱(草稿)了,有興趣
的同學,歡迎參考。
Funding space exploration
Not practical, should not be an immediate concern
Government (budget limited) - should focus on more important
problems (these problems influence more, and kill more people) -
war (Syria) poverty (African countries) —> poor countries, cancer
(medicine, cure), obesity (rich countries)
Space exploration — like imagining the future, too hard to
foresee <—> easy to envision? Building houses for people in need
Inequity (我的核心思想)- space exploration only benefit the
rich - does not help to make people equal - (different from 1st),
give specific example - Venus. (Time control problems 快速收尾)
在時間有限的情況下,心中的擬稿是很難被全寫出來的。但至少,你可以永
保這種精神,用大綱的方式想你的作文,並且隨時練習,在每個主題出現的
時候,都有一些單字、元件可以用,可以說。如此,你寫作時,方向將會更
明確。希望我今天的分享有幫助到大家!
我是個熱愛寫作的人,如果你想多讀我的文章,歡迎大家進入SK2 TOEFL的
部落格,參考我為寫作此科目寫的系列文:
http://sk2toefl.blogspot.tw/p/lia.html
或追蹤我和我的partner Show 所一起建立的 LiaShow 雅思討論區:
https://goo.gl/e9YGTG
2/23 (週五)我將舉辦一場小型的閱讀長難句公開課,若你喜歡我的
教學風格或分享方法,歡迎你來參與我的現場教學,和我練練看另一個托福
中讓大家頭痛的科目喔!以下是報名資訊:
公開課資訊:
日期:2018/2/23(五晚)
時間:19:00- 20:30(18:45開始入場,19:00準時開始)
課程名稱:破解閱讀長難句!了解何謂句子態度、句子重心
地址:臺北市信義路四段六號(捷運大安站共構大樓)16F-8正中央教室
* * *
報名公開課 ,請至https://goo.gl/KAzi9Q
填寫簡單資料,即完成報名手續,不需另行等待確認信~
教室座位有限,當天並會準備講義,請同學確認能出席後再報名。
農曆春節,為陪伴大家溫書,若你有參與此次課程,我將每兩天分享一段/
篇托福寫作範例,email 給你讓你參考,直到我們見面!歡迎大家參加實
體免費課程,一起在2018年變更好 :)
同時,如果你 2/23 無法前來,但真的很和我聊聊你的閱讀和寫作問題,
你也可以於2/24 參與我的顧問時間。
這個顧問時間,平時是給我正班的學生於課後討論解惑的,在顧問時
間,我往往會幫助我的學生批改作文、練習口說,並提醒閱讀和聽力的自學
重點。因為是過年後的第一次顧問時間,我特別公開顧問時間,開放六位學
生可以進班試聽我教授的上課精華。若你對於我平時上課如何和學生互動感
到好奇,歡迎你來聽聽看我的顧問時間!
報名顧問時間,請email: [email protected]
內文寫上真實信名,各科狀況並附一篇你的
托福作文。作文並非必繳,但內文請有禮貌,讓我知道你是誰,需要得到什
麼幫助。
最後,如果你真的很喜歡我的教學和分享,你可以在這裡
(https://goo.gl/SLj6bG) 看到 2018年三月我在SK2所教授的付費課程。
我歡迎你成為我的學生,與我一起進步、一起學習。
~~SK2 TOEFL Lia
p.s. 歡迎加入我們的社團 SK2 TOEFL,追蹤我們:https://goo.gl/IbTrCY
p.s.s. 大家想學會如何背好單字嗎?或是你也需要準備GRE嗎?歡迎你加
入我們的夥伴,Mason GRE臉書社團,獲得更多相關資訊。Mason GRE臉書社
團:https://goo.gl/fxESZq
作者: yocka1001 (小花)   2018-02-17 21:29:00
推Lia :)
作者: earnest (大衛)   2018-02-17 23:48:00
推!
作者: kiwi0308 (kiwi)   2018-02-18 23:32:00
推Lia老師的想點詳盡分享~

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