Re: 英文自傳求批

作者: anr2 (???)   2019-07-08 17:38:58
小弟英文沒有很好, 但是覺的應該與人為善 稍微的幫忙修改一下履歷 歡迎給予指教
謝謝
I am a junior student XXXX, majoring in social marketing, in the Department
of Marketing and Tourism Management of Chiayi University. I want to apply for
a long-term internship program for your company, YYYYY, and my available
working days can start on 15th July 2019. For shortly introducing myself and
saving your reviewing time, Here is a list of my skills and work experiences
as following.
Master Skills:
1. MS Office PowerPoint
2. MS Office Word
3. MS Office Excel including VBA Scripting
Language Certificates:
GEPT, Taiwan 725 scores
Prize awarded:
2018 The champion of National Universities of Green Tourism Creative Travel
Planning Competition, TAIWAN. The design concept had received many positive
praise from syndic.
Venture experiences:
1. Student Dormitory Volunteer from 2017/07 - 2018/06; this position often
need to accommodate the quarrel between the dormmates, I solve many conflicts
and always found the best compromise among them.
2. Coordinator of the cherished community from 2018/9 - 2019/3; I lead
community member and propose many plans for execution such as XXX festival
event.
3. Teaching Assistant at Kid Castle from XXXX/XX - XXXX/XX; this is
accounting work; it needs to use the excel to make income and outcome sheets
to ensure all expenditures are correct. Through this position, I learned many
experiences from the fixed a lot of general chaos in bookkeeping to help the
billing system to complete.
4.Social Network Relationship Podcast from XXXX/XX - XXXX/XX; I am a
copywriter in charge of advertising proposal including the product
introduction, adjusting the photo of the product, and publishing it into the
social networks like Instagram, Facebook, and Youtube.
5. Foxconn 2005 high school student internship program. My primary work is to
execute the promotion plan of Asia Pacific Telecom to provide the customer
with lower telecom charges and help them to understand the benefit compared
to another Telecom company.
Finally, I kindly asked the honor reviewer to give me a chance to apply
for this long-term internship, and I will show my best performance
to reach your expectations.
※ 引述《sz06060817 (rose)》之銘言:
: My name is , I am studying in the third year of Chiayi University - Department
: of Marketing and Tourism Management. I am a marketer who is very interested i
: n social marketing.
: Working days: Summer vacations can be practiced every day. After semester begi
: ns, the internship days are Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. I can cooperate wit
: h a long-term internship.
: Study experience: I often need to make a ppt about the course, so I am familia
: r with using office and ppt.
: Activity experience:
: Chiayi University Xinmin student dormitory Volunteer (201707-201806) - I often
: n
: eed to solve all kinds of things in the accommodation, so I cultivate the abil
: ity to respond to the crisis.
: Coordinator of the cherished community (201809-201903): I am responsible for t
: he
: planning and execution of the event.
: Teaching Assistant of Kid Castle: Because the work requires excel to record th
: e income and expenditure, I learned to use it and the ability to solve unexpec
: ted situations.
: Acting as a public relations officer: experience in writing and writing a copy
: . I have an idea on planning a copy.
: I often write about urcosme's product experience. I will publish a product in
: ig and get 154 people by love. My ig is .
: Foxconn 94 students internship program.
: Help promote Asia Pacific Telecom and computers.
: Winning experience:
: The 2018 national colleges and universities green tourism creative travel plan
: ning competition is preferred. The design concept attracts consumers' journeys
: .
: License Expertise: The score is 725 points. I use tutoring and listening to En
: glish broadcasts to increase my English ability.
: I hope that your company will give me this opportunity, I will cherish this in
: ternship. I will not disappoint your company's expectations.
: 可以請大家幫我看看,並給予我建議嗎?謝謝
作者: anper (鏡中人)   2019-07-08 18:05:00
覺得稍微地
作者: vosser (二的四次方)   2019-07-08 18:06:00
英文不太有這種格式
作者: PANG920 (PANGSHAN)   2019-07-08 18:08:00
4.Social Network Relationship 的第三行publish+ing?give me a chance face-to-face 這句怎麼感覺有點怪...
作者: xvited945 (sk0k0)   2019-07-08 18:40:00
原原po的英文是真的要完全重寫的地步,要給建議很難啊,文法、語法都錯太多了,不是不給建議,而是希望他拿出稍有程度的版本再來討論我覺得你扯遠了,我在美商工作,也從來不敢說自己英文多好,我們公司一堆ABC跟國外名校留學回來的,英文都比我好個好幾倍,但這不是重點,重點是要跟板友請益,真的不要拿錯誤百出的版本,好歹用一下文法糾正網站或是找範例套,這應該不難舉例好了,假設今天有一個人在網路上問數學題,結果他連四則運算都有問題,你會從加減乘除開始指導起,還是請他先去了解基本觀念?就事論事看來對你是一件很難的事情,居然肉搜我XD
作者: anr2 (???)   2019-07-08 19:18:00
評論事情可以就事論事, 但是要提到小學四則運算 您扯遠了給人一個機會 不會少一塊肉 成不成材再說背
作者: xvited945 (sk0k0)   2019-07-08 19:19:00
你扯的我家世不覺得很誇張嗎?我不管他是什麼學歷,他的那篇自傳就是錯誤百出,需要完全重寫,連修改的餘地都沒有,這是事實。
作者: anr2 (???)   2019-07-08 19:21:00
如果您的文 不能引用 麻煩下次發文前 先放上提示 我會遵守
作者: xvited945 (sk0k0)   2019-07-08 19:21:00
我幫過不少朋友修改英文自傳和英文作文,這評論是根據經驗說的,不關我家世的事。你就承認你為了辯論而肉搜我吧
作者: anr2 (???)   2019-07-08 19:22:00
先提小學四則運算的是您啊 我只是說我的認知 我又不知道您是誰
作者: xvited945 (sk0k0)   2019-07-08 19:23:00
他的英文自傳在我眼裡確實跟四則運算不熟差不多等級。文法錯的太多了,語法也完全是中文邏輯
作者: anr2 (???)   2019-07-08 19:25:00
calm down 呵呵 下班啦 與人為善 與人為善
作者: xvited945 (sk0k0)   2019-07-08 19:26:00
嗯,共勉之
作者: anr2 (???)   2019-07-08 19:26:00
引用一下 名言 I'm trash! Toy4 還蠻好看的呵呵 離題的部份砍掉 多給人家一些機會 有時後會挖到寶
作者: LouisLSYA (阿莊XD)   2019-07-08 19:48:00
呵呵,一把年紀了還跟個小學生一樣肉搜為了辯論
作者: jojia (jojia)   2019-07-08 20:06:00
覺「得」 你的中文....
作者: anper (鏡中人)   2019-07-08 20:11:00
看來你英文不好 中文也不好 糾正你也沒發現= =
作者: wzmildf (我不是蘿莉控)   2019-07-08 22:06:00
語言是拿來溝通的,但是寫履歷不是讓你有懂就好的...再說了,原文那種英文,你要寫履歷隨便google幾篇範本都可以想辦法從各篇抽取句型和篇章架構出來修改阿,要改真的無從改起,另外原文好像沒說明英文自傳的用途,也比較難針對用途來寫,簡單來說整篇自己去網路上找資源砍掉重練再來吧
作者: apley (佛渡有緣人)   2019-07-09 12:48:00
其實我覺得嘴炮到需要查詢對方,就己經輸了,因為潛意識覺得【需要更多東西】才能赢,為何? 因為單憑自己的文字和邏輯己經沒有贏面.. 旁觀者看來就是如此,心中怎麼阿Q都無妨
作者: cool10528 (好芹)   2019-07-11 08:39:00
英文不好中文也不好嗎? 覺得

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