在reddit上面看到的，幹快笑死
原文:https://tinyurl.com/ya2plbqk
Kawhi cleary doesn't want to play in Toronto. For those of you who are
unfamiliar,Toronto is in Canada. Of course,if Kawhi really doesn't want
to play this year in Toronto,he could just get "injured" and sit another
year out,hoping that LA is still willing to pay a player who throws a
tantrum when he doesn't get what he wants. But what if I told you there
was a way Kawhi could both not play in Toronto this year And sign and play
most of the season for LA...
很顯然可愛並不想為多倫多打球，先說清楚:多倫多在加拿大。
當然啦，可愛只要繼續"受傷"，本季就可以用坐板凳的方式坐掉，然後祈禱下一季LA
會簽一個只要不是他中意的球隊就發脾氣的球員。
要是我告訴你有個方法可以讓可愛今年在跟暴龍簽約的同時不用在多倫多打球，還同
時可以在LA度過本季多數時光呢...
Kawhi's uncle should convice Kawhi to cross into Canada illegally and claim
asylum.
Kawhi will be arrested. His refugee claim will be evaluted and quickly denied.
He will not be charged,but will be sent back to the US and banned from
re-entering the country or obtaining a visa.
可愛的舅舅應該說服可愛非法跨境加拿大，接著申請庇護。
可愛會被逮捕，而且他的難民申請會先被審核接著再很快的被拒絕。可愛不會被罰錢，但
會被遣送回美國而且不准再踏上加拿大國土，也不能持有加拿大簽證。
Why not just commit a felony(like a DUI) in the usa?
Felonies that carry less than a 5-year prison sentence do not make you
ineligible to enter Canada.Kawhi would probably rather spenf 1 year in
Toronto than 5 years in prison. Plus,you can be granted a waiver to enter
Canada,which is how other convicted felond are able to play in Canada.
幹嘛不在美國犯個重些的罪(像是酒駕)就好?
犯一個低於五年有期徒刑的罪可無法讓踏入加拿大這件事變成違法。而且如果
真的要坐牢五年，那可愛還不如去多倫多打一年。此外，你還有可能會被豁免，這就是為
什麼有些犯過罪的人依然可以前往加拿大打球。
What happens next?
Kawhi will either try to enter Canada to report to Toronto and be denied OR
the will be accepted. If he is allowed in,he simply has to leave and re-enter
illegally again and apply for asylum again.Applying for asylum alone might do
it,but it's more of a fool-me-once scenario.
At this point,the Raptors will be faces with either having Kawhi only available
for away games or severing his contract due to his conduct. Now, if they sever
his contract,I'm not sure whether they retain his right or not but they certainly
won't be interested in re-signing him. After some period of no contract being
tendered I assume he becomes a free agent an can sign with LA.
之後呢?
可愛試著進入加拿大好跟暴龍報到，但被加拿大拒絕在外或被接受入境。
但就算他被接受入境，他只要再離境接著馬上非法入境，接著一樣再次向加拿大申請庇護
。只單單申請一次還有可能會過，但這樣搞?人家政府可不是智障。
到這地步，暴龍就得被迫面對是要選擇一個只能打客場的可愛或是買斷。如果
選擇買斷的話，我不曉得他們是否還保有對可愛的權利，但暴龍絕對不想續簽可愛。經過
一陣沒有報價送上門來的時間後，我想他應該成為自由球員了，也就是可以跟LA簽約了。
Caveats
1.Kawhi can't re-enter Canada. As long as Toronto doesn't make the Finals(which
they won't without him)this doesn't seem to be a huge problem.
2.Adam silver won't like it. This is a bigger issue but NBA players have done
worse things that actually hurt people and they still have jobs.
3.His bargaining position with LA is seriously affected if they know he's
willing to break the law to play for them. Then again,if I'm Magic I may admire
the dedication.
後續影響
1.可愛將不能再踏入加拿大。反正暴龍也打不進總冠(沒可愛暴龍要怎麼打進總冠?)，所以
這點也不是什麼大問題。(註:湖人在西區，季賽也去不了幾次位在東區的暴龍主場)
2.Silver一定會很不爽這種事，但NBA球員可幹過比這還糟糕的事情，還真正意義上的傷害
過民眾，而事後他們也都還有球打。(痾...奧本山事件?)
3.可愛與LA談價時的地位一定會深深受到這件事影響，畢竟為了去LA打球連犯法的事都幹
的出來。我要是魔術還真不得不佩服他的決心。
這篇真的超鬧XDDD
雖然我自己看下來是覺得有點奇怪，像是都非法入境加拿大了那還怎麼跟暴龍報到
不過既然只是趣味酸文，就看看就好吧XD