What my weakness is leaving someone before who leaves me.
I've realized it's not a good idea to do it.
I am such a coward because
I'm afraid of hurting and how painful is.
How can I revise my potential fear ?
I have no courage to love someone anymore.

Why not? if she's not right for you, separation wouldbe mutually beneficial.We all are afraid of being hurt, that is natural.Not leaving could actually hurt you more than leavnig.

I'm a lady, not a man. nowadays someone has left me,I think it's such a revenge to me, like I regarded somsomeone who was my lover

The best revenge, milady, is to live well.

I totally agree with you

It takes time to heal the scar. If you still feelsurffering,that means you need more time to let go