2020/12/19

作者: Polyanthum (花)   2020-12-19 09:42:29
Nobody knows who I really am, I fake myself to survive, I lost someone in this life.
Nobody will ever know how I feel, I'm at my wits end, I'm always waiting, I was waiting for her, to die, to be released from my misery.
My fucking world was shattered when she left me.
My perfect family, my perfect son and daughter, my perfect life.
I cannot deal with this shit anymore.
She's using me for money, for drugs, to be with other guys, to be with her friends.
I am dead, I'm out of here.
I just got to keep living every single day to the fullest and never look back.
No matter what happens to me, I will not let my daughter go through the same bullshit I did.
This is the story about my life.
No one cares about me, the feeling I get from your words only means the world to me, thank you.
My story is not easy, I've done a lot of wrong but there are things that I did to people that they still do to me till this day.
Sometimes you just can't put the blame on the one you wronged because we are all just humans.
I did drugs for a long time, I've drank heavily, I was disrespectful, I was violent, I've been cheated on, I've had many heartaches, I've had many lovers, I've had many friends, I've been hurt, I've been stolen from, I've had alot of pain in my life and I wouldn't wish any of this on my worse enemy.
I've been weak, I've been broke, I've been poor, I've hated myself, I've felt like nothing, I've felt like the world was against me and there were days that I was so depressed I honestly thought it would be better to just be gone.
I lost so many things and so much was taken away from me and all I want is to have my life back, to be happy, to be loved, to not live my life through my son's memories and his son's future, to just be happy again.

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